After working on the case, here is the revised version with comments from my supervisor. Please modify all the suggestions given and add an abstract at the beginning of the paper.
In addition to the paper, I will attach a guide/checklist to make sure that the structure of the paper is followed accordingly.
These are some comments as well as the ones in the document:
1) Poor coherence and linkage of the chapters and narrative. .
2) Failure to set out in Chapter 1 the research questions to which you were seeking answers in order to test the veracity of the three hypothesis which you set out.
3) Failure to introduce and conclude each chapter and the dissertation overall.
4) Confusing reporting of the interviews. Did you actually conduct them? Where is your questionnaire? Where are your interview findings? Your findings chapter is exceptionally short.
5) No recommendations for further research. Though not essential, good dissertations always include this.
I appreciate that your dissertation is unfinished and ‘work in progress’ and I have no doubt that you are already well aware of the points I’ve made and are already working to address them in the time available before you have to submit. If so, the points I’ve made above will, I hope encourage you to proceed with confidence.
To further assist you I’m attaching a copy of guide that sets out how each chapter should be structured. This also has a number of useful checklists which you can use to check your work.
Please write to me if any questions arise.
 
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