I know that Lopez writes about police brutality in her piece–and does get into the racism and the idea of ‘abolishment’ and the context of the slavery legacy. However, I told you/the class to not get into racial side of the argument unless your grades were high all semester and/or you were writing a 4-paragraph essay. Here’s what I stated:
What to be careful of…
In a 2-paragraph paper, try not to get into abolition too much. If you do, then you’ll have to get into racial issues and police brutality, which would require more time and take away from the ‘defunding’ issues.
This is a two-paragraph essay, so you’re running into problems. It feels like you’re jumping from idea to idea. The summary paragraph should start with the ideas about defunding and then, perhaps, ending with the abolishment–not the other way around. This could work in a longer essay, but the way you wrote it, it’s confusing.
Also, the 2nd paragraph is way too short and under-developed.
You’re going to need to redo this essay. Right now, it’s not quite passing.
50/80 (61%)
20 more points available.
Defund the Police
Since slavery, discrimination against black people has taken a different direction. Today, it even looks like in America (odd wording–not sure what you mean), there is a lot to do if racism was to be completely eliminated. Police brutality against black people has become rampant, and it has claimed the lives of many innocent young people. Christy Lopez (who is she and what did she write? Isn’t this a summary-response? You need to summarize her article and give her credit. To do this, you need the name of the article and even some of her credentials) argues that the police should be defunded. In the context of her argument, she is not advocating for the police to be completely abolished, but she is calling for the reforms that will make policing better in the United States. Today, people rely on the police for situations that should not be categorized as criminal offences. According to Lopez, the police should not be responsible for solving social problems like family arguments or children’s behaviors that can be handled as a school disciplinary issue. When someone calls the police for a particular situation, they are doing it against a black person (I’m confused because your ideas are jumping around–you were just talking about the police involvement with social problems–all of a sudden, it’s racism, too. The way you wrote it, it sounds like each/every time there’s a call, it’s about a black person. That’s not true.) and even increasing the chances of making the situation worse. The police should be trained on handling matters and becoming guardians instead of warriors. However, the idea of reliance on law enforcement has made society unsafe because each time the police are called on a black kid, it endangers the kid’s life. Shooting someone who is unarmed is unlawful itself, but most of the culprits seem to get away with it. (?? What does this have to do with the defunding article?)
Cristy Lopez is right in her argument. There is a need for change in the policing system. Decriminalizing social problems will be the first step towards achieving public safety. The government should consider directing these responsibilities to community organizations that might handle the situations well. We should understand that criminalizing some of these social problems has not helped us secure public safety but just exacerbated the unjustified white control over black people.
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