Teens who spend more time on social media are more likely to suffer anxiety and depression
Teens who spend more time on social media are more likely to suffer anxiety and depression because social media has increased rates of cyberbullying, increase pressure due to fear of missing out on events, and have become inadequate about life and appearance.
THIS WAS THE THESIS I HAD TURNED IN AND THIS WAS WHAT MY FEEDBACK WAS FROM THE PROFESSOR
Good start! You have a strong thesis here but it is not grammatically correct. Work on keeping the three points or pattern of development parallel or so it flows, such as has increased pressure, and has become inadequate. The following are tips for thesis writing. 1. The thesis should be one clear statement that you will prove in the paper. 2. The front half of the thesis should reflect a claim you will prove and the second half should reflect a pattern of development or overview of the three main points to come in the paper. This acts as a guide for your reader and provides organization. It also helps to focus the paper. 3. The thesis should not be a question, should not be a fact that has already been proven (should be arguable), and should be able to stand on its own in the paper as a one sentence summary of your argument. I also appreciate your responses to peers and would like to see even more of it. Thanks!
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