(1)        Use “I-Language” correctly on at least one occasion with someone you have an interpersonal relationship with. Your interaction must be face-to-face communication — NO telephone or Internet (e-mail, web chat, messenger, etc.) conversations.


1.         Describe the person’s behavior to him (what he said or did) in very specific terms.  (DO NOT EVALUATE!) HINT: You can complete the phrase above with “. . . when you (describe actual actions)  .”  EXAMPLE: “ . . . when you don’t pick me up on time.” (NOTE:  Make sure you don’t insert a hidden “you”-message here either, like: “. . . when you acted like an inconsiderate jerk.”

2.         Express how you feel about the person’s behavior (NOT how the person “made you feel.”)  Begin your sentence with “I feel (emotion)    . . .” OR “I get (emotion)    . . . ” EXAMPLE: “I feel frustrated . . . “ (NOTE:  Make sure you don’t have a hidden “you”-message, like: “I feel you acted like an inconsiderate jerk last night.”)

3.         Express your reasoning.  Begin this part with a “Because …” statement, where you explain why you are choosing to feel the way you are about the person’s behavior. This should not be a chance to slip in a hidden “you”-message. Instead, ask yourself, “Why am I choosing to feel this way about his/her behavior.”

HINT: These steps may be stated in any order. Be sure not to send a “double message” of sarcasm or insincerity with your tone of voice or body language.

(2)        Write a 3-page essay describing your experience.  Use the  to help you structure your paper correctly.

(3)        Refer to the  to make sure you follow the APA formatting requirements and special requests.  PLEASE PROOFREAD YOUR PAPER AND MAKE CORRECTIONS BEFORE TURNING IT IN!

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