I made an excellent grade on my last assignment.  In this assignment, I wish to have my final paper upgraded to include all the revisions my instructor has asked for in the message below. Add paraphrasing and scholarly sources where need. Any questions, ask!
Hi Ms. Hattie,
Thanks for submitting your week three paper. Overall, you have good sources for support, and you want to work on formulating your argument and position on the topic. Make sure that you update your introduction, include a strong thesis statement, and work on finding three main points for each side of your argument so that you have a complete research paper for the final. The final is the finished product of all your research that shows that you have mastered your topic and that your position (thesis) is indeed logical and rational. Therefore, you will be presenting your final argument. Make sure that you try to include a few more specific examples to help make your points stronger.
Academic writing is about your ideas, and you use the citations as support. Try to ask yourself how you can paraphrase the information you have copied and pasted in? How does this topic relate to philosophy? Why is the topic, or the points, relevant to philosophy, your life, or in a philosophical perspective? What do you think about the information you have read? Asking yourself these types of questions helps you develop your critical skills and content. You want your paper written in roughly 80 % of your ideas and words with 20% cited sources. You must cite all sources used to give that author credit for his or her work; it is not a good idea to use other students’ papers as sources.
Furthermore, when you cite sources, you want to try to stay away from copying and pasting and try paraphrasing. When you paraphrase, you are using your own words, but you are still giving credit to your source.  Also, you want to try paraphrasing and write more in your own words.
As I said, academic writing is a process that takes time, and it is about you expressing your ideas and points more, which is how you develop and strengthen your critical skills. I do understand that learning to write academically and APA formatting is challenging at first. This is one reason I try to post announcements with tips and hints to help all of you build and strengthen your writing skills so that you develop and strengthen your critical skills. This will also help you develop and improve your communication skills in general.
I do appreciate you, and I know that you will do great on the final. I want to make sure that you have a solid understanding of academic writing and how to include sources. Thanks, and please let me know if you need any help with this!
Thanks,
Professor Moore
( 0.50 / 0.50) Explains the Topic, and States the Specific Question Being Addressed
Distinguished – Thoroughly explains the topic and clearly states the specific question being addressed.
( 1.00 / 1.00) Presents the Main Argument from the Source on One Side of the Issue, Describing the Scholarly Source and Summarizing Key Points Made
Distinguished – Thoroughly presents the main argument from the source on one side of the issue, fully describing the scholarly source and thoroughly summarizing the key points made.
( 0.88 / 1.00) Evaluates the Quality of the Reasoning in the First Source
Proficient – Evaluates the quality of the reasoning in the first source. Minor details are missing.
( 1.00 / 1.00) Presents the Main Argument from the Source on the Other Side of the Issue, Describing the Scholarly Source and Summarizing Key Points Made
Distinguished – Thoroughly presents the main argument from the source on the other side of the issue, fully describing the scholarly source and thoroughly summarizing the key points made.
( 0.88 / 1.00) Evaluates the Quality of the Reasoning in the Source on the Other Side of the Issue
Proficient – Evaluates the quality of the reasoning in the source on the other side of the issue. Minor details are missing.
( 1.00 / 1.00) Discusses the Differences in the Quality of the Reasoning or the Degree of Support in the Sources Analyzed
Distinguished – Thoroughly discusses the differences in the quality of the reasoning or the degree of support in the sources analyzed.
( 0.44 / 0.50) Criterion Reflects on How the Activity Influences How Research Will be Conducted in the Future
Proficient – Reflects on how the activity influences how the research will be conducted in the future. The reflection is slightly underdeveloped.
( 1.00 / 1.00) Written Communication: Control of Syntax and Mechanics
Distinguished – Displays meticulous comprehension and organization of syntax and mechanics, such as spelling and grammar. Written work contains no errors and is very easy to understand.
( 0.50 / 0.50) Written Communication: APA Formatting
Distinguished – Accurately uses APA formatting consistently throughout the paper, title page, and reference page.
( 0.50 / 0.50) Written Communication: Page Requirement
Distinguished – The length of the paper is equivalent to the required number of correctly formatted pages.
( 2.00 / 2.00) Written Communication: Resource Requirement
Distinguished – Uses more than the required number of scholarly sources, providing compelling evidence to support ideas. All sources on the reference page are used and cited correctly within the body of the assignment.
Overall Score: 9.70 / 10.00
Overall Grade: 9.7
 


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