revise eassy

Previous comments

Hello, I just wanted to say that the word choice used and the flow of the sentences really made this a joy to read and I honestly can’t describe how nice it was reading this. The thesis was clear and was clearly followed throughout the whole prompt to a tee. I don’t know how much more refining needs to be done, but one thing to note is that the intros thesis and conclusion don’t really match up. I loved the intros way of putting it because in your examples you really explain how the minority group, but in the conclusion, you said that they fight the challenges. Though I don’t disagree with that statement and I myself have seen it in these films I just don’t really see the correlation between the two. Nonetheless fantastic job.

I see that you are talking about the theme of minority groups, but I’m not entirely sure what your thesis is. I recommend putting down exactly what you are arguing about these three films. Also, make sure that the argument you are making is subtle or bold. Your analysis of how while Ila in "The Lunchbox" does so many things for her husband, like making him lunch every day and doing his clothes for him and other domestic tasks, he still cheats on her, does a good job of showing her lack of independence as a woman. A suggestion I have is to make sure that everything in your body paragraphs is making an argument, and not a summary of the films. A lot of your paragraph of "The Lunchbox" reads somewhat like a summary of the film. I also recommend including more about "Weekends" in your essay; you mention it in your intro and concluding paragraphs but not in the body. You’re off to a good start, but I highly recommend making sure you have a bold or subtle argument in your essay.